Buffy Episode #83: "No Place Like Home" Transcript

Written by
Douglas Petrie


Prologue

1	INT.   CZECH REPUBLIC- MONASTERY- CORRIDOR- NIGHT		1

Two MONKS race down the corridor, panicked, throwing terrified glances
behind them. They clutch religious items in their arms: books,
candles, incense. One of the monks stumbles, dropping a censer of
incense. His companion helps him up and they continue their flight
down the candlelit hallway.

The monks careen through a set of massive wooden doors and slam them
shut. They slide a beam the size of a tree trunk across the doorway.

Title Card:

Two Months Ago

2	INT.   CZECH REPUBLIC- MONASTERY- GREAT HALL- NIGHT		2

As he beam slides home, one of the monks calls fearfully to the other
in Czech.

MONK #2
(subtitle)
It's coming. It's going to kill us!

MONK
(subtitle)
Our lives aren't important. We have to protect the Key.

The two monks race to the center of the great room and join a third
senior member of their order. They kneel on the floor before the
SENIOR MONK, around several lit candles and magick talismans.

SENIOR MONK
(subtitle)
Help me perform the ritual.

All three monks extend their arms and begin chanting. As they speak
the ancient words, a tremendous crash echoes through the monastery and
the massive wooden door trembles in its frame. As the junior monks
glance fearfully at the door, the elder admonishes them.

SENIOR MONK
(subtitle)
Concentrate. Concentrate.

The ritual resumes and a breeze springs up inside the chamber. The
relentless pounding on the door continues; the crossbeam starts to
splinter.

Suddenly, a bright flash of light leaps from the center of their
circle. Then all goes dark as the door finally gives way and shatters,
blasted into the room in pieces.

DISSOLVE TO:

3	EXT.   SUNNYDALE INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT- FACTORY LOT- NIGHT	3

FADE IN:

On a sign mounted on a chain link fence:

PRIVATE PROPERTY
NO TRESPASSING
VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED

Title Card:

Now

BUFFY flies into frame and slams against the sign. She ducks just as a
vampire's fist smashes into it where her head was an instant
before. The VAMPIRE is a huge, burley Hell's Angel biker-type and he
looms menacingly over Buffy.

BIKER VAMPIRE
I've always wanted to kill the Slayer.

BUFFY
And I've always wanted piano lessons. So really, who's surprised we
have all this unexpressed rage?

Buffy punctuates her words with blow after blow, knocking the hulking
vampire back several feet. He retaliates with a brutal punch to her
face, sending her reeling. She blocks a second blow and wrenches the
demon's arm behind his back and flattens him against the fence.

BUFFY
But honestly? I think I'm expressing mine better. Tell you what... you
find yourself a good anger management class...

The vampire throws her off but she slams him back into the fence again
and whips out a stake.

BUFFY
And I'll jam this pokey wood stick through your heart.

Before the vampire can react, Buffy stakes him to dust and slips the
stake back into her coat.

BUFFY
(to herself)
I think that sets the world speed record for closure.

MAN
(o.s.)
Hey!

A bright light shines in Buffy's eyes as she turns to see the factory
NIGHT WATCHMAN approaching.

NIGHT WATCHMAN
Miss, if you're looking for one of those rave parties, I'm afraid
you're late. Chased a bunch of kids out of here last night.

BUFFY
(covers)
Oh, right. Yeah. Darn. My fellow ravers will be so disappointed. It
was my turn to bring the Bundt cake.

NIGHT WATCHMAN
You know, if it was my call, I'd let you do whatever you want. It's
not like anybody's using this place or nothin'. But they just don't
pay me enough to argue with the boss so...

BUFFY
Already gone!

She turns to leave but the guard stops her.

NIGHT WATCHMAN
Oh, hey! Hold it, miss. Take your... whatever this is with you.

He bends over, picks up a glowing yellow orb and hands it to Buffy,
who looks at it curiously.

BUFFY
Thank you.

NIGHT WATCHMAN
Glow balls, huh? (laughs) I swear, I don't get your generation. What is that thing?

BUFFY
(distracted)
I'll let you know as soon as I find out.

She turns and walks off into the night.

Opening credit sequence.


ACT I

4	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- KITCHEN- DAY	4

Buffy is preparing a breakfast tray for her mother. DAWN enters,
smiling.

BUFFY
Dawn, touch nothing.

DAWN
Who died and made you the Iron Chef?

BUFFY
Look, Mom's sick and I made her a nice non-instant breakfast for
once. And I don't need you...

Dawn knocks over the rose vase on the tray.

DAWN
Oops!

BUFFY
...doing that.

JOYCE enters in her bathrobe, smiling.

JOYCE
Oh! Check out the "Pamper Mom" platter. (to Dawn) You two do all this?

DAWN
Oh, Buffy helped.

Buffy can't believe her sister.

BUFFY
I didn't "help"...

JOYCE
I'm sure you did. (sits down) So neither of you is pregnant, failing
or under indictment? (off their looks) Just checking.

BUFFY
We knew you were feeling less-than-great so...

JOYCE
Yeah, the headaches they said would go away came back and brought some
friends along with.

BUFFY
Well, what did the doctor say?

JOYCE
Oh, take four of some-pills a day and come back for tests.

BUFFY
So they don't know what's wrong?

JOYCE
Not yet.

BUFFY
Well, that's unacceptable. I think we should get a second opinion.

JOYCE
Well, we need a first opinion first, honey.

BUFFY
Okay, we'll go right now.

JOYCE
Buffy, I know you're concerned, okay? But don't be. I'm still the
mom. Which means I get to worry about you two. Which is a good thing
because you're a Vampire Slayer. (pulls Dawn onto her lap) And
you... you are my little punkin' belly!

DAWN
(embarrassed)
Oh, Mom! That's like my kid name.

JOYCE
So I can't be retro?

Buffy notes Joyce and Dawn's easy camaraderie and feels a little
excluded.

BUFFY
Did you ever have any names for me?

JOYCE
No... I think you were always just Buffy.

DAWN
I got some names for ya...

Buffy is hurt but covers. Joyce suddenly remembers something.

JOYCE
(to Buffy)
What are you doing hanging around here? Isn't this Giles' big day?

BUFFY
Oh! Bigger than big. It's his grand opening.

JOYCE
So go. Bring me back a... I don't know... a flying broomstick or something.

DAWN
Those never really work.

JOYCE
Whatever. Book club tonight?

DAWN
Uh-huh.

BUFFY
You guys have a book club? (off their looks) Okay, I'm gonna go. I
will be back later. (to Joyce) What time is your doctor's appointment?
(off her exasperated look) I just want to know... take it easy. I want
you to relax all day, keep your feet up, plenty of Oprah.

DAWN
Plus you can check my rain forest report and you know there's like eighty bazillion old board games-

Buffy grabs Dawn by the arm and drags her out of the house.

DAWN
Hey! You said I couldn't come.

BUFFY
Changed my mind.

CUT TO:

5	INT.   THE MAGIC BOX- DAY	5

Buffy enters and glances up at the quaint bell that rings when she
opens the door. She strolls into the store, taking in the curios and
knickknacks lining the shelves. The store is quiet and empty. She
looks up to find GILES standing serenely in the center of the store,
dressed in a spangled purple robe and pointed purple warlock's
cap. Giles smiles at Buffy cheerily who merely stares him
down. Finally, he drops the faìade and shrugs out of the costume just
as Dawn bursts through the door behind Buffy, gasping for breath.

DAWN
(to Buffy)
I told you you couldn't ditch me! (looks around) Whoa... Mr. Giles!
This place is so... wow. I mean, check out all the magick junk.

GILES
Our new slogan...

DAWN
So when's it open? You know, for customers?

GILES
Since nine this morning, actually.

BUFFY
Dawn. Go. Browse. And-

DAWN
"You break it, you bought it." Heard you the first sixty times.

Dawn wanders into the recesses of the store to check the place out.

GILES
(to Buffy)
Still, not to worry. No, I've got feelings about this place. Magick's
a small niche market but... well, think about
it. Sunnydale... monsters... supply and demand. They'll be lining up
around the block in no time.

BUFFY
Yeah. You'll be making money hand over fist.

Suddenly puzzled, she holds her hand over her fist.

BUFFY
Which I guess is a good thing.

GILES
You all right? You seem a little distracted.

BUFFY
It's just my mom's still sick and we have no idea what the deal is.

GILES
She is getting medical attention?

BUFFY
Yeah. We have a highly trained medical staff working 'round the clock
to tell us diddly.

GILES
I'm sorry. Still, you know, time and patience... both great comforts-

The bell jingles as WILLOW and RILEY enter. Willow runs in, excited.

WILLOW
Giles! Where's your hat and cloak?

RILEY
Yeah, the hype was out of control.

DAWN
(to Willow)
Willow! You gotta see this. They have the coolest
talismens... mans... talisguys. I-

BUFFY
(interrupts)
Actually, I have a little Scooby-centric deal to deal with first.

Buffy reaches into her bag and removes the glowing yellow globe.

BUFFY
I put this before the group. What the hell is it?

GILES
It appears to be paranormal in origin.

WILLOW
How can you tell?

GILES
Well, it's so shiny.

BUFFY
Found it on patrol.

She hands the object to Giles.

RILEY
May be more where that came from. I say we go back out again tonight.

BUFFY
Um... sure.

DAWN
(to Riley)
You can't patrol. Buffy said.

BUFFY
No, I didn't.

DAWN
Yeah, remember? You said it'd be easier if you didn't have to look out for anybody.

BUFFY
(nervous)
Well, I wasn't talking about Riley.

RILEY
Don't worry about it.

DAWN
Oh, she just said you look even cuter when you're all weak and kitteny
and she'd better go solo or you'd get hurt. So welcome to the
club. She'll never let me go either.

Buffy is mortified and furious. Giles, Willow and Riley look away,
uncomfortable. Dawn finally registers the awkward silence.

DAWN
What? What?

RILEY
Giles, you got that danger room set up out back? I'm feeling the need
for a little physical rehab about now.

Giles hands the globe to Willow.

GILES
(to Riley)
Of course, yes. (to Willow) If any customers do-

WILLOW
On it.

BUFFY
Dawn, we're going.

Dawn knows she's in trouble and heads out, dejected. Willow stops
Buffy before she leaves.

WILLOW
Buffy, wait. Go easy on her.

BUFFY
Why?

WILLOW
I can't help it. I just have all this involuntary empathy for
Dawn. 'Cause she's, you know, a big spaz.

All of Buffy's pent-up frustrations suddenly pour out.

BUFFY
She's so annoying. Especially now that Mom's sick. She's all over her
while I have to be the grown-up and the two of them are like the
Giggle Twins and why can't I ever be L'il Punkin' Belly?

WILLOW
While I don't feel qualified to address the last part, I can tell you
that Dawn's not just the youngest, she's the baby and maybe your mom
needs that right now.

BUFFY
Dawn doesn't care what my mom... (beat) You just have no idea how much
I wish I were an only child these days.

The crash of breaking glass comes from the rear of the store.

DAWN
(o.s.)
Oops!

Buffy winces and looks knowingly at Willow.

CUT TO:

6	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- FOYER- DAY	6

Buffy and Dawn enter, Dawn still going on about the incident at the shop.

DAWN
We can't all be born with big, fancy, Chosen One reflexes, you know.

BUFFY
Shh! Mom?

A soft moan comes from the living room.

7	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- LIVING ROOM- DAY	7

Buffy and Dawn rush to Joyce, who is lying on the couch in obvious distress.

BUFFY
Mom!

DAWN
What's wrong?

JOYCE
(weak)
It's just my head.

BUFFY
I'm taking you to the doctor.

JOYCE
No, sweetheart. I'm fine.

BUFFY
We don't know that. We don't know anything. We're going.

JOYCE
I just need my prescription. Please?

Buffy picks up the slip and stands.

BUFFY
Hospital pharmacy open?

JOYCE
Mmm-hmm.

BUFFY
Ten minutes.

She heads out.

CUT TO:

8	INT.   SUNNYDALE HOSPITAL- PHARMACY COUNTER- DAY	8

The technician hands Buffy a bottle of pills and she turns to leave,
examining the bottle as she goes. She passes two orderlies and a nurse
wheeling a patient down the corridor on a gurney. BEN, the nurse,
calls out to Buffy, stopping her.

BEN
Hey! It's Buffy, isn't it?

She looks at him, confused.

BEN
Ben... but you can call me man-nurse. Everybody else here does.

Suddenly the patient sits up, struggling to get off the gurney. It's
the factory night watchman from the night before.

NIGHT WATCHMAN
I don't belong here. I have important instructions. Fascists!

Ben pushes him back down while the orderlies fasten his restraints.

BEN
Now you're hurting the nice orderly who's here to help you. (to nurse)
I need nine cc's of Phenobarbital in this guy n-

Buffy steps up and slams the man down onto the gurney with one arm and
effortlessly holds him there.

BEN
(amazed)
Or not. (to orderlies) Now let's strap him. (to patient) For your own
good, I promise. (to Buffy) You know, not to be rampantly sexist in
the workplace, but you've got some serious muscles for a girl.

BUFFY
I... um...

BEN
Radioactive spider bite.

BUFFY
How'd you guess?

BEN
I'm a doctor- well, almost.

The night watchman seizes Buffy's arm and looks at the medicine bottle
she's holding.

NIGHT WATCHMAN
Doesn't even help. Doesn't make a damn bit of difference!

BUFFY
(to Ben)
I've met this guy. He's a security guard. He's not crazy.

BEN
If you say so...

NIGHT WATCHMAN
(to Buffy)
They're coming at you. Don't think you're above it, missy. They come
through the family! They get to your family!

BUFFY
My family? What do you mean?

He lets go of her arm and the pill bottle falls to the floor.

BEN
(to orderlies)
Let's get him to Exam One. Now would be nice.

Buffy stares after him as the orderlies wheel him out. Ben picks up
Buffy's pills and hands them to her.

BEN
I'm real sorry about that. Here. For your mom?

BUFFY
Yeah, thanks.

BEN
She's not feeling better?

BUFFY
Not yet but she will be. I'm starting to figure out what's wrong.

CUT TO:

9	INT.   SUNNYDALE INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT- FACTORY- DAY	9

The same factory where Buffy found the glowing orb. A voice echoes in
the cavernous chamber, speaking in Czech.

MAN
(o.s.; subtitle)
God help me!

Pan down to reveal the monk from the Czech monastery crouched on the
floor amid a circle of lit candles and magickal icons similar to the
one we saw before. He's marking locations on a map of Sunnydale.

Suddenly, a deep boom reverberates through the factory and he looks up
fearfully at the tempered steel door. The massive portal shudders as
it's struck by some titanic force from outside.

MONK 
The Beast!

The pounding continues and the steel buckles inward with each
blow. The door suddenly flies into the room, taking a good portion of
the surrounding wall with it.

When the dust settles, GLORY, an attractive blond woman in a
form-fitting red dress stands incongruously amid the rubble. She
strides into the room and smiles manically at the monk who cringes in
fear.

GLORY
There you are. I have been looking all over for you.

FADE OUT


ACT II

10	INT.   THE MAGIC BOX- DAY	10

Giles hands a couple their purchase with a smile.

GILES
Thank you for choosing to shop at The Magic Box and please do come again.

Willow stands at the counter, perusing an ancient tome. Giles waits
until the couple leaves the store, then bounds over to her, giddy.

GILES
Did you see that? Customers! Real, live customers! They came in and I
gave them things and they gave me money and then they left! It's
brilliant!

He jumps back to the cash register to deposit the cash.

WILLOW
Congratulations. You're an official capitalist running dog. But I
gotta tell ya...on the orbular front? We're batting zeroes.

GILES
Well, we'll just have to keep trying.

A group of customers enters and begins browsing. Giles calls out to them.

GILES
If there's anything you need help with, let me know.

One of the customers is ANYA who stops at the main display table,
examining the items. She picks up a small bag of dust and carries it
over to Giles.

ANYA
Your conjuring powder is grotesquely over-priced.

GILES
Anya...

ANYA
I'm sorry. I'm nearly out of money. I've never had to afford things
before and it's making me bitter.

GILES
The change is palpable. That stuff doesn't come cheap.

ANYA
Well, you're getting ripped off. I could hook you up with the troll that sheds it.

Buffy runs in, flustered.

BUFFY
Giles, I have an idea what's making my mom sick.

GILES
Have you spoken with her doctors?

BUFFY
They won't find anything. What's hurting her- it's
supernatural. (picks up the orb) The night watchman who found this
thing? He went crazy- like overnight.

Willow, Giles and Anya back away cautiously.

BUFFY
It won't hurt us. I had it on me all night. But this guy, he saw things... he said things.

GILES
Such as?

BUFFY
They'll come at me through my family.

GILES
Who will?

BUFFY
I don't know... yet. But whatever touched this guy, it made him see
through what the rest of us are seeing. He knew someone's hurting my
mom and they're trying to get to me.

GILES
It's possible but still... the ramblings of a madman aren't much to go on.

BUFFY
Yeah, but it's a start. We need to find out who's making my mom sick and how.

WILLOW
Then what?

BUFFY
Then I hunt them... find them... and kill them.

CUT TO:

11	INT.   SUNNYDALE INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT- FACTORY- DAY	11

Glory has the monk tied to a chair and gagged. He's been beaten
severely. She paces around him while she talks, frequently getting
right up in his terrified face.

GLORY
You know, when you think about it, I'm the victim here. First off, I
don't even want to be here. And I'm not talking about this room or
this city or this state or this planet. I'm talking about the whole
mortal coil now, you know? It's disgusting! The food... the
clothes... the people. I could crap a better existence than
this. (beat) But... okay- and feel free to tell me if this next part
gets a little too personal, because I'm told I have boundary issues-
but I'm hurt! Yes, by your incredibly selfish behavior. Newsflash,
hairdo: it's not always about you. All I want is the Key! Why? Why
can't you tell me where the Key is? (beat; realizes) Oh! Forgive
me... monky. Sometimes I just... I get so anxious- like there's
something deep inside of me and it's swelling up and it's making me
crazy!- that I forget there's all that duct tape on your face!

Glory rips the tape off violently and smiles at him. It's clear now that she's insane.

GLORY
Now... tell me where the Key is.

Glory shoves her knuckles into the monk's eyes and wrenches his nose.

GLORY
Or I'm going bowling.

She holds him there, sputtering in pain, then releases him.

GLORY
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay! The stutter's sexy. Keep it coming.

The monk stares at her for a beat then whispers in Czech.

MONK
Zabbij me... zabbij me. (Kill me... kill me.)

Glory stands up, enraged.

GLORY
Josve novem svete, tak prohoba speak American! (We're in the New World
now so please, for God's sake, speak American!)

MONK
I... will tell you... (spits) nothing.

The monk glowers at her, scared but defiant. Glory sighs and suddenly seems on the verge of tears.

GLORY
Fine. You know what I wish? I wish that you could feel what I'm feeling right now.

She backs away from the monk and we now see a SECURITY GUARD chained
to a steam pipe behind her. He hunches over, terrified.

GUARD
Lady, whatever you are... whatever you're on, please.

GLORY
(ignores him)
'Cause I don't know how much more of this I can take.

GUARD
I have a wife. Her name's Jennifer. We have two daughters.

Glory is in her own world. Her focus is on the monk. She pays no
attention to the guard.

GLORY
(to monk)
I bet this is fun for you, isn't it? Say it. Why? You don't even own
the damn thing and I want it, I need it and I gotta have it now and
you keep refusing to tell me where the Key is!

Glory starts to come apart mentally.

GLORY
It's typical! The whole mortal meatsack comes complete with stink and
bile sweat and protein. Yes, I said humans! Not now, Mommy's talking!
Wriggling, piling, prowling, crawling, clowning, cavorting, doing it
over and over and over and over until someone's gonna sit down on
their tuffet and make this birthing stop!

With a strangled cry of despair, Glory puts her fingers on either side
of the hapless guard's head. White light flares and his eyes go wide
with shock and pain. He collapses to the floor, whimpering and
gasping, while Glory takes a deep breath and stands, calm and
refreshed.

GLORY
Ahh... that is so much better.

CUT TO:

12	INT.   THE MAGIC BOX- DAY	12

The shop is bustling with customers now. Anya is working the register
and Buffy and Willow are at the counter, busily researching. A
CUSTOMER approaches Willow with an antique hourglass.

CUSTOMER
Do you gift wrap?

WILLOW
Do we! (to Anya) Do we? (Anya nods) Oh! We do. Little help...

Giles is desperately trying to manage the customers and answer a flurry of questions.

GILES
No, no. Ground cloven hooves are 30% off. The whole ones are full
price. (turns around) That's not... candy!

He looks up with relief as XANDER enters the store.

GILES
Xander! There's too many of them... people! And they all seem to want things.

XANDER
I hear ya. Stay British. You'll be okay.

He pats Giles on the shoulder then heads over to Anya.

XANDER
The thousand-yard stare. Damn! You hate to see it on any man but especially in retail.

Anya wraps up a woman's purchase and hands it to her.

ANYA
(to woman)
Please go.

The woman walks away, shaking her head.

XANDER
Anya, the Shopkeeper's Union of America called. They wanted me to tell
you that "please go" just got replaced with "have a nice day".

ANYA
But I have their money. Who cares what kind of day they have?

XANDER
No one. It's just a long cultural tradition of raging insincerity. Embrace it.

Anya calls out to her customer.

ANYA
Hey, you! Have a nice day.

XANDER
There's my girl!

Anya grins with pride and Xander wanders over to Buffy. In b.g.,
Willow is utterly failing at gift wrapping the hourglass.

XANDER
(to Buffy)
Did you ever think in a million years you'd miss the high school library?

BUFFY
Someone put a spell on my mom. Something to make it seem like she's sick.

XANDER
That's a new kind of nasty. Any suspects?

BUFFY
Well, I've got the list narrowed down to just under infinity.

Willow carries the hourglass over to Anya, the wrapping paper hanging off it.

WILLOW
Does this look right to you?

ANYA
Sure, if you wrapped it with your feet.

Anya takes the hourglass and starts wrapping it herself. Willow frowns
and turns away.

ANYA
You know, Buffy, there used to be this French sorcerer back in the
16th I-don't-know-what named-

GILES
Cloutier?

ANYA
So cute in his little knickers. But he had this one spell demons just
hated called tirer la couture.

BUFFY
"Rotate many foodstuffs"?

WILLOW
"Pull the curtain back".

ANYA
A spell to see spells... well, a trance to see spells, actually, but
you get the idea. Try that.

BUFFY
What do you mean "see" spells?

GILES
Well, all spells leave a trace signature. It's just not perceptible to
the human eye. In this case, it could be the image of a hand choking
your mother.

ANYA
Or a cloud of mist around her.

WILLOW
Or maybe the shape of the demon that's performing the spell?

GILES
Possible, yes.

Anya holds up the perfectly-wrapped hourglass, beaming.

BUFFY
Okay, so I'll do what Monsieur Silk Knickers did. I'll go home, I'll
get trancey and I'll see what's affecting my mom.

WILLOW
I don't know, Buffy. Trances?

GILES
Yes, Buffy, the Sorcerer Cloutier was legendary. His skills at
achieving higher states of consciousness were-

BUFFY
Better than mine? (to Willow) I knew he was gonna say that. (to Giles)
But I've been practicing concentration skills. I know I'm close.

GILES
(serious)
Are you ready?

BUFFY
It's my mom. I'll get ready. (to Willow) What do I need?

CUT TO:

13	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- BUFFY'S ROOM- DAY	13

Buffy sits on the floor in the middle of her bedroom and dumps out a
bag of incense, powders and other magickal talismans.

BUFFY
Thanks for coming over. I really appreciate the help.

Riley steps into frame and hunkers down next to her.

RILEY
Sure thing. So what do I do?

BUFFY
Lots. Tons. Lots and lots of tons. This is all kinda-

RILEY
New terrain?

BUFFY
All prayin', no slayin'. Okay, so the incense needs to be
ignited... and there's a job. And this stuff needs to get poured
around me in a circle, counter-clockwise-

RILEY
So you need me to light incense and pour sand?

BUFFY
Magick incense... and spooky sand... and the ritual itself is-

RILEY
Something you do alone. You sure this isn't just your way of trying to
make me feel less- what are the words?- cute and weak and kittenish?

BUFFY
Kitteny.

RILEY
Right. Much manlier. Look... I really am okay.

BUFFY
I know.

RILEY
So I'm not quite Super Guy anymore. It was borrowed power anyway. Had to give it back some time.

BUFFY
I know you can handle yourself. I just didn't want to see you get hurt.

RILEY
Maybe instead of you trying to take care of me, we agree to take care of each other. Deal?

Buffy smiles and nods.

BUFFY
Done.

She stands and they shake hands. Riley leans over and kisses her forehead.

RILEY
For luck.

He turns to go but she pulls him back.

BUFFY
Hey, a girl needs more luck than that.

Riley smiles and kisses her tenderly.

RILEY
Have a nice trip.

He heads out and she closes her bedroom door behind him.

TIME CUT:

Buffy prepares for the ritual: incense is lit, conjuring powder is
poured in a circle on the carpet. She sits, cross-legged, in the
center and places her hands on her knees. She closes her eyes and
begins meditating.

The silence is broken by a knock on the door.

DAWN
(o.s.)
What are you doing?

BUFFY
(frustrated)
My boyfriend. Go away.

DAWN
(o.s.)
Liar. Are you doing magick?

BUFFY
No, I'm not!

CUT TO:

14	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- UPSTAIRS HALLWAY- DAY	14

DAWN
Can I watch?

CUT TO:

15	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- BUFFY'S ROOM- DAY	15

BUFFY
No, you can't!

DAWN
(o.s.)
Oh, come on! Please, please, like times ten and cubed? Please?

CUT TO:

16	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- UPSTAIRS HALLWAY- DAY	16

Dawn tries to open Buffy's door but Buffy slams it in her face.

DAWN
Yeah, well, I can smell your stinky incense down the hall, you
know. And your clothes are gonna reek. And if you are doing magick, I
am so telling.

CUT TO:

17	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- BUFFY'S ROOM- DAY	17

Buffy folds up a towel and shoves it under the crack in the door.

BUFFY
Fine! Go! Go tell. Go do whatever you want. Just go!

CUT TO:

18	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- UPSTAIRS HALLWAY- DAY	18

Dawn is hurt. Despite everything, she really wants her big sister's
approval. She turns and walks back down the hall, dejected. She goes
into her room and slams the door.

CUT TO:

19	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- BUFFY'S ROOM- DAY	19

Buffy returns to the circle, sits, and resumes her meditation.

TIME CUT:

Night. Buffy is still in the lotus position in deep meditation, her
trance deepening with each passing moment. Her eyes suddenly snap open
and she gets up and leaves her room. The house around her appears
grainy, sepia-toned, reality slightly altered.

20	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- UPSTAIRS HALLWAY- NIGHT	20

Buffy makes her way down the hall and stairs to the living room,
taking in her surroundings as she goes, the familiar house suddenly
appearing strange and new.

21	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- LIVING ROOM- NIGHT	21

Joyce's voice comes to Buffy as if from a great distance. Buffy turns
to find Joyce dressed and putting on her overcoat.

JOYCE
Buffy?

BUFFY
Mom? Are you going out?

Buffy studies her mother carefully but sees nothing out of the ordinary.

JOYCE
Well, either modern medicine's working or I just took the world's best
placebo. Either way, I'm going out for a couple of hours.

BUFFY
Nothing...

JOYCE
Hmm?

BUFFY
There's nothing.

Buffy stares intently at her mother, trying to detect anything
abnormal, but everything seems fine. Her attention is suddenly drawn
to a family photograph on the wall behind Joyce. The picture shows
Joyce, Buffy and Dawn smiling happily. Dawn's image appears and
disappears, flickering in and out of the photo like a bad television
reception.

JOYCE
Are you sure you're feeling okay? You seem a little out of it. (beat) Hey... Buffy?

BUFFY
(covers)
Yeah. I'm fine. Long day's all. You go, have a good time.

Joyce smiles wistfully.

JOYCE
You're so grown up.

Joyce turns and heads out. As soon as she's gone, Buffy immediately
finds another family portrait and finds the same thing: Dawn fading in
and out.

CUT TO:

22	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- UPSTAIRS HALLWAY- NIGHT	22

Buffy approaches Dawn's room and cautiously opens the door. Dawn is
not there and Buffy walks slowly in.

CUT TO:

23	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- DAWN'S ROOM- NIGHT	23

Buffy stands in wonder as the entire room around her shifts back and
forth between Dawn's normal teen girl setting and a room full of boxes
and odds & ends: an unoccupied storage room. Dawn's voice echoes from
far away, calling to Buffy.

DAWN
Buffy? Buffy.

Buffy turns to find Dawn, angry at her intrusion. But Dawn herself is
fading in and out of reality along with all her things.

DAWN
Who said you could come in my room?

Buffy finally realizes what's going on.

BUFFY
(cold)
You're not my sister.

FADE OUT


ACT III

24	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- DAWN'S ROOM- NIGHT	24

Resume. Buffy stares coldly at Dawn.

DAWN
Yeah! Like I even want to be related to your nasty self-

Buffy rushes forward and seizes Dawn by the arms.

DAWN
Ow! What are you doing?

BUFFY
What are you?

DAWN
Get off me!

BUFFY
You want to hurt me?

DAWN
Let go of me, you freak!

BUFFY
Then you deal with me.

DAWN
I'm telling mom!

BUFFY
You stay away from my mother!

Buffy shoves Dawn against the wall with tremendous force. Dawn stares
at Buffy, shocked, and Buffy stares back, her gaze unwavering.

The moment is broken by the ringing of the phone.

CUT TO:

25	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- LIVING ROOM- NIGHT	25

Buffy answers the phone.

BUFFY
What?

INTERCUT WITH:

26	INT.   THE MAGIC BOX- NIGHT	26

Giles tries to hear Buffy over the bustle of customers.

GILES
Buffy? Oh, I'm glad I've caught you. I think we may have
underestimated what we're dealing with.

Buffy checks to see if Dawn's nearby before answering.

BUFFY
Go on.

GILES
We've uncovered more than expected about this orb. It's called the
Dagon Sphere and it has a history going back many centuries.

BUFFY
What's it do?

GILES
It's a protective device, used to ward off ancient primordial evil.

BUFFY
Any word on what this evil looks like?

GILES
Unfortunately, no. This is where- (to customer) Excuse me. (to Buffy)
This is where accounts get vague. All we've managed to uncover so far
is the Dagon Sphere was created to repel That Which Cannot Be Named.

BUFFY
I'm going to go back to the factory where I found it. Whoever planted
this doohickey's got answers.

GILES
Buffy, you've heard me say this before but do be careful. Anything
that goes unnamed is usually an object of deep worship or great fear-
maybe both. Have you completed the trance? Seen what's harming your
mother?

BUFFY
That's the thing... I just saw-

Buffy breaks off when she senses Dawn standing behind her.

GILES
Yes?

BUFFY
Nothing. It didn't work.

She drops the phone in its cradle and faces Dawn.

END INTERCUT

DAWN
What are you talking about?

BUFFY
Slayer stuff. I'm going out.

Buffy heads for the door.

DAWN
Do you really think I care you're the Slayer?

Buffy stops and turns to her.

BUFFY
What's that supposed to mean?

Dawn gives her a cold look.

BUFFY
I'll be home in an hour.

DAWN
Mom's coming back.

BUFFY
(hard)
I'll be back first.

With that, Buffy grabs her jacket and leaves.

CUT TO:

27	EXT.   SUMMERS HOME- FRONT YARD- NIGHT	27

Buffy walks down the front steps and is halfway across the lawn when
she stops, sensing something. She reaches behind a tree and yanks
SPIKE out into the yard.

BUFFY
Spike.

SPIKE
Hi, Buffy.

BUFFY
Don't take this the wrong way but...

She socks him in the nose.

SPIKE
Ow!

BUFFY
What are you doing here? Five words or less.

Spike counts the words on his fingers.

SPIKE
Out... for... a... walk... bitch.

BUFFY
Out for a walk at night by my house. No one has time for this,
William.

SPIKE
On your merry way, then. You know, contrary to one's self-involved
world-view, your house happens to be directly between parts... and
other parts of this town. And I would pass by in the day but I feel
I'm outgrowing my whole "burst into flame" phase.

BUFFY
Fine. Keep going, I cut you a break.

SPIKE
Oh, yeah. Okay, let me guess... you won't kill me? Wooo... the whole
crowd-pleasing threats-and-swagger routine. How stunningly
original. You know, I'm just passing through. Satisfied? You know, I
really hope so because God knows you need some satisfaction in life
besides shagging Captain Cardboard and I never really liked you anyway
and... and you have stupid hair.

He turns and stalks off into the night leaving Buffy not just a little
bit perplexed. She looks down at the base of the tree and notices a
dozen or so cigarette butts where Spike was standing. Having no time
to worry about it now, Buffy heads off to the factory. She doesn't
notice Dawn watching intently from her second-floor window.

CUT TO:

28	EXT.   SUNNYDALE INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT- FACTORY LOT- NIGHT	28

Buffy easily snaps the chain on the fence and heads inside.

29	INT.   SUNNYDALE INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT- FACTORY- NIGHT	29

Buffy flicks on her flashlight and starts exploring the musty
corridors of the abandoned building. Eventually, she comes across the
tremendous gaping hole in the wall and the twisted remains of the
tempered steel door. She examines the wreckage with concern.

CUT TO:

30	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- FOYER- NIGHT	30

Joyce enters, looking pained.

JOYCE
Buffy? Girls?

No answer.

JOYCE
Where is everybody?

She looks in the living room and dining room but sees no
one. Suddenly, Dawn is right behind her, holding a teacup and
saucer. Joyce starts.

DAWN
Hi, mom.

JOYCE
Oh! Dawn. Where's Buffy?

DAWN
You don't have to worry about her.

JOYCE
You're probably right. I mean, it's not like she's never patrolled
before. Anyway, I was feeling kind of- what's the medical term?-
crappy. So I called off the big night out.

DAWN
Want tea, mom? I made it for you.

CUT TO:

31	INT.   SUNNYDALE INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT- FACTORY- NIGHT	31

Buffy shines her light over the shattered remains of the blast door,
then looks deeper into the room. She sees the monk, semi-conscious and
tied to the chair.

BUFFY
Whoa.

She runs to his aid and starts loosening his restraints.

BUFFY
It was you who planted the Dagon Sphere, right? I got it. Don't worry. I'm stronger than I look.

Glory silently approaches Buffy from behind.

BUFFY
I have had experience with stuff like this before. Best of all...

Buffy whirls around and seizes Glory by the throat.

BUFFY
(cold)
I'm not stupid.

Glory gives Buffy a withering look, wrenches Buffy's arm from her neck
and backhands the Slayer with such force that she flies 50 feet across
the room and impacts the cement wall so hard she cracks it. Buffy
falls to floor and looks up at Glory, stunned at her power.

GLORY
You sure about that last part?

FADE OUT


ACT IV

32	INT.   THE MAGIC BOX- NIGHT	32

The jingling bell signals the departure of the final customer of the
evening. Giles, Xander and Willow sit around the reading table,
exhausted. Anya is at the register counting the day's receipts.

GILES
Would someone please rip that bloody bell off its hinges?

XANDER
Would that involve moving?

WILLOW
My feet are numb.

XANDER
I'll see your numbness and I'll raise you a lower back pain.

GILES
I think I liked it better when demons would just crash in here and
tear the place apart. Just seemed so much simpler.

ANYA
You're out of crystal balls. Those babies are really popular with the
amateurs. Better re-stock and raise the price 10%. Make it 15.

GILES
Anya...

ANYA
Your cash register looks like squirrels nest in it.

GILES
Anya...

ANYA
And the Hand of Glory packs some serious raw power. Better institute a
seven-day background check for-

GILES
Anya! (beat) Would you like a job?

ANYA
Okay.

GILES
Good. Then we can talk shop tomorrow.

ANYA
(smiles)
Okay... boss.

WILLOW
Hey, any word from Buffy on how her spell went?

GILES
She said it didn't work. Now she's off investigating whoever left the Dagon Sphere behind.

XANDER
You're not worried about the Slaymaster General, are you Big G?

GILES
No, no. I just hope she isn't doing anything too rash.

CUT TO:

33	INT.   SUNNYDALE INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT- FACTORY- NIGHT	33

Buffy slams into the cement wall again, face first. The wall cracks
under the impact. Glory strides toward her and seizes her by the
shoulders.

GLORY
And another thing? I just want you to know...

She slams Buffy into a support pillar and pummels her.

GLORY
The whole "beat ya to death" thing I'm doing? It's valuable time out
of life that I'm never gonna get back.

Buffy tries to fight back but Glory grabs both her arms and wrenches
them downward. Buffy cries out in pain.

GLORY
Wait, I've always wanted to try this. You know that thing with worms
where if you have one, you rip it in half, you got two worms? Do you
think that'll work with you?

Buffy slams her head into Glory's face and breaks free. Glory cries
out in shock.

GLORY
You hit me! What, are you crazy?

Buffy presses the attack, hitting and kicking for all she's worth,
forcing Glory backward, but her blows seem more to offend Glory than
injure her.

GLORY
You can't go around hitting people. What, were you born in a barn?
Fine. Be that way.

Glory easily blocks Buffy's next blow and swings her around into the
wall. She sends a blow for Buffy's head but the Slayer ducks at the
last instant and Glory's fist punches through the concrete. Glory
picks Buffy up by the throat and holds her there, gasping for air.

GLORY
I just noticed something. You have super powers. That is so cool. Can
you fly?

She hurls Buffy clear across the room where she lands, dazed, next to
the dying monk. Buffy gets to her feet and prepares to engage Glory
again but realizes her priority is the monk. She helps him out of the
chair.

GLORY
Hey! Hands off my holy man!

Buffy picks him up and runs toward the window. Realizing what Buffy is
about to do, Glory charges after them. She's too late: Buffy crashes
through the window with the monk and tumbles to the ground below.

Glory stumbles to a halt when the heel on her shoe breaks off. She
takes off the shoe and glowers at it in frustration.

CUT TO:

34	EXT.   SUNNYDALE INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT- FACTORY LOT- NIGHT	34

Buffy helps the monk up and they escape across the parking lot.

CUT TO:

35	INT.   SUNNYDALE INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT- FACTORY- NIGHT	35

Glory whips her shoe across the room in a fit of rage and stomps her
feet. The tremendous force from her blow cracks the floor and she
looks up as the support beams shatter and the ceiling comes crashing
down on her.

GLORY
Oh, shi-

CUT TO:

36	EXT.   SUNNYDALE INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT- FACTORY LOT- NIGHT	36

A cloud of dust roils out of the shattered window above as Buffy helps
the critically injured monk across the lot.

MONK
Stop. Please.

BUFFY
No. We have to keep going.

They stumble across the lot to the chain-link fence surrounding the
property. The monk collapses against it, gasping.

MONK
My journey's done, I think.

BUFFY
Don't get metaphory on me. We're going.

She tries to lift him again but he stops her.

MONK
You have to... the Key. You must protect the Key.

BUFFY
Fine. We can protect the Key together, okay, just far, far from here.

MONK
Many more die if you don't keep it safe.

BUFFY
How? What is it?

MONK
The Key is energy. It's a portal. It opens the door...

BUFFY
The Dagon Sphere?

MONK
No. For centuries it had no form at all. My brethren, its only
keepers. Then the abomination found us. We had to hide the Key, gave
it form, molded it flesh... made it human and sent it to you.

Buffy stares at him in shock as the realization sinks in.

BUFFY
Dawn...

MONK
She's the Key.

BUFFY
You put that in my house?

MONK
We knew the Slayer would protect.

BUFFY
My memories... my mom's?

MONK
We built them.

BUFFY
(angry)
Then un-build them! This is my life you're-

The monk starts coughing heavily. He's fading fast.

MONK
You cannot abandon.

BUFFY
I didn't ask for this! I don't even know... what is she?

MONK
Human... now human. And helpless. Please... she's an innocent in
this. She needs you.

BUFFY
She's not my sister?

MONK
She doesn't know that.

The monk exhales one last time and dies. Buffy is stunned, her life
turned upside down.

CUT TO:

37	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- FOYER- NIGHT	37

Buffy enters, still somewhat in a daze. She finds her mother and Dawn
together on the couch in the living room.

JOYCE
You're home.

Dawn gets up and leaves the room.

DAWN
I wasn't bothering her.

JOYCE
What was that all about?

BUFFY
Nothing. (beat) Sister stuff.

Buffy turns and follows Dawn up the stairs.

CUT TO:

38	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- UPSTAIRS HALLWAY- NIGHT	38

Buffy knocks on Dawn's bedroom door.

DAWN
(o.s.)
Go away.

CUT TO:

39	INT.   SUMMERS HOME- DAWN'S ROOM- NIGHT	39

Buffy opens the door and stands in the threshold. Dawn sits quietly on
her bed.

BUFFY
I'm sorry.

DAWN
You hurt my arm.

BUFFY
I know.

DAWN
Butthole.

BUFFY
Really sorry.

DAWN
I tell you I have this theory? It goes where you're the one who's not
my sister. 'Cause mom adopted you from a shoebox full of baby howler
monkeys and never told you 'cause it could hurt your delicate baby
feelings.

Buffy takes a few steps into the room.

BUFFY
That's your theory?

DAWN
Explains your fashion sense. And your smell.

BUFFY
(sincere)
I'm sorry, okay?

DAWN
Broken record much?

BUFFY
You can't even take an apology. You always do that. Ever since-

Buffy stops herself and sits down next to Dawn.

BUFFY
I just had a bad day.

DAWN
Well, join the club.

BUFFY
Can I be president?

DAWN
I'm president. You could be the janitor.

BUFFY
(smiles)
Okay. 

Buffy reaches up and strokes Dawn's hair.

DAWN
Buffy?

BUFFY
Yeah?

DAWN
What's wrong with mom?

BUFFY
I don't know.

Buffy and Dawn share a troubled look as Buffy continues stroking her
sister's hair.

FADE TO BLACK


END